You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
