Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
