I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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