Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
