bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
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Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
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I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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