Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
