maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
