Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
