I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
