Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
