im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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