he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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