i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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