I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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