i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize