That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
