Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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