do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
