Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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