we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
