Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
