loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
