I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
