pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
