i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize