Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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