Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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