Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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