I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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