I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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