I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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