yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
