oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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