i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
