i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
