With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
