so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
