Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
