You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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