i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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