Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
