it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
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Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
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I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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