Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for