if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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