u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Porn is love you can see.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
