My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
