Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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