and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
