he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Mom said you looked used
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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