Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
