I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
