I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize