I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
