You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
