Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
