yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize