I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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