What did we do last night that was yellow?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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