oh god the rape fog is back!
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
