apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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