I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
