all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize