in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
