i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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