Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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