i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
