I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
