Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
