Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
The Olympian is in my bed
It all started with a game of naked twister.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
