I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
