Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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