Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Hippo gnu deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize