Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
