I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Your cock deserves a montage
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
