why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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